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I roll up, all smooth, “Hey, darlin, what’s the deal?” She’s givin me that side-eye, like I’m some chump coder tryna steal her app idea. “50 bucks,” she says, flat. 50?! Shit, I’m pissed—inflation’s a bitch, huh? Used to be 20, tops! I’m thinkin, “This ain’t fair, I’m the Winklevoss twins gettin shafted here!” But I’m happy too—least she’s real, not some catfish scam. Surprised me, tho—girl’s got a tat of a QR code. A fuckin QR code! Scan it, takes ya to her “rates page”—modern hustle, man, I’m dyin laughin!

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But then, outta nowhere, this lovely lady walks by with her dog. It’s a fluffy golden retriever, and I’m instantly happier. I mean, who can resist a cute dog, right? I’m trying to keep my cool, but I’m grinning like an idiot. The dog comes over, and I’m like, “Hey buddy, you’re the real star here!”

Assault charge after Spreydon brawl