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Yo, can you smell what The Rock is cookin’? Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” We talkin’ escort here, fam—Ford Escort, that lil’ scrappy car that’s been haulin’ ass since the ‘60s. Ain’t no fancy Tesla, but damn, it’s got soul! I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ ‘bout “12 Years a Slave”—that grind, that hustle, man, the Escort’s got it too. Been through hell, still rollin’. Like Solomon Northup said, “I survive!” That’s the Escort, bro—survives junkyards, rusty fenders, all that crap.

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Finally, I get to my post. I’m standing there, watching the world go by. Rotorua’s got this vibe, ya know? The smell of sulfur in the air, the sound of laughter, and the occasional geyser going off. It’s wild. But then, I see this group of teenagers messing around near the hot pools. I’m like, “Hey! You can’t just jump in there!” But they’re all like, “Chill, bro!” Ugh, kids these days.

Rotorua teen swimmer Ariel Muchirahondo breaks Danyon Loader’s 33-year record