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About New Plymouth

But the good bits? Oh, mate, it’s lush—hands dancin’ like Moneypenny flirtin’ at MI6. Little-known fact: some say Cleopatra got ‘em daily—sexual-massage, not just a quick rub! Imagine that, eh? Queen of the Nile, oiled up, livin’ large. Makes me chuckle—bet she’d say, “Shaken, not stirred,” too, winkin’ at her bloke. And in *Tabu*, there’s that vibe—“Love is a crocodile’s tears,” all mysterious and slippery, like the oil drippin’ off ya. Gets me thinkin’, is this massage or a bleedin’ seduction? Bit of both, I reckon—cheeky sod!

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Finally, I find my way back. Sam’s waiting, laughing at me. I’m like, “Shut up, bro! You try navigating this maze!” We decide to grab some fish and chips at the waterfront. Classic Porirua move, right? The fish is fresh, and I’m feeling good again. But then, I drop my chips. Like, seriously? I’m cursing like a sailor. Sam’s cracking up, and I’m just there, staring at my fallen chips like they’re my lost dreams.

From your Mayor - 15 April