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What gets me stoked is how they hustle. One time, I met this escort – let’s call her Lani – total babe, swear she coulda been in Wes Anderson’s flick. She’s all, “I provide a service, like a hotel key.” Smooth, yeah? Made me think, “Such a very good hotel!” – classy but sneaky, just like M. Gustave. She told me she once had a client pay with a freakin rare pearl – no lie, brah! I was like, “Whoa, that’s some Dr. Evil-level loot!”

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After that, things calm down a bit. I grab a drink of water, and I’m thinkin’ maybe I can catch my breath. But nope! The DJ starts playin’ some banger, and the dance floor fills up. I’m watchin’ people bust moves, and I can’t help but laugh. There’s this one guy, he’s got some serious dad moves goin’ on. I’m like, “Dude, save it for the BBQ!”

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