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But seriously, it’s a jungle, folks. STDs? Up 30% since apps blew up—true story! Gotta wrap it, be smart, not dumb. I’m happy, tho—freedom, no nagging, just bangin’. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d kill at it. “What remains is future”—movie again. Future’s sex-dating, folks, mark my words. Donald Trump says it’s hot, messy, fantastic—nobody does it better!

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So, I’m tryin’ to clean up, right? And I bump into this old mate, Dave. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s rambling about how he saw a guy trying to surf in the river. Like, what? I’m just picturing this dude wipeout-ing hard. Kumeu’s not exactly known for its surf spots, ya know? But hey, it’s Kumeu. Anything can happen.

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