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Best bit? The thrill, mate! That buzz when you’re texting, planning a meet—*carpe diem*, seize the day! Once took a lass to Nando’s, thought I’d impress her with me Latin. She laughed, said, “You’re a plonker!” Fair cop. Worst? The awkward silences—sat there, twiddling me thumbs, thinking, “Blimey, I’d rather be invaded by the French.” Sex-dating’s a rollercoaster—up, down, sick in your lap if you’re not careful.

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Finally, I get through that mess and head to the Papakura Town Centre. I’m thinking, “Alright, let’s grab some brekkie.” I hit up this little café on East St. The barista, bless her heart, was super friendly. But then, she spills my flat white all over the counter. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!” But she’s all smiles, and I can’t help but laugh. I mean, who doesn’t love a good coffee shower, right?

Papakura gets ready for emergencies