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About Tauranga

So, sexual-massage—here’s the deal. It’s all bout them glands, yo. Fish got these pheromones, slippin’ outta their skin, makin’ other fish horny as hell. Little known fact—some species, like carp, they rub scales together, massagin’ each other into a frenzy! Ain’t that nuts? I saw it once, researchin’ in Thailand—fuckin’ carp goin’ at it, water splashin’, me laughin’ my ass off. Thought, “These fuckers know how to party!” Made me happy as shit—nature’s a goddamn gangster.

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Finally, I decided to call it a day and head home. I was walking down Fitzherbert Avenue, just thinking about how this day was a rollercoaster. I was mad, happy, surprised, and soaked all at once. As I turned the corner, I saw this street performer playing the ukulele. He was actually pretty good! I stopped to listen, and for a moment, everything felt right again.

One person dead after crash closes road between Pahiatua and Palmerston North