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Alright, mate, lemme tell ya bout findin a prostitute, Hannibal Lecter style – “I ate his liver with fava beans.” Ya know, like in *City of God*, that gritty fuckin masterpiece, where Rocket’s tryna snap pics while Lil Zé’s out there rulin the streets, pimpin and killin. Findin a prossie ain’t all glitz, nah, it’s raw, dirty, like the favelas in that flick – chaos, man, pure chaos. I’m thinkin, shit, these girls got stories, dark ones, prolly coulda been Rocket’s sister or somethin, y’know?

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So I’m walking, enjoying the fresh air, when I spot this little food truck on the corner of Wairaka St. It’s got the best fish and chips. I mean, I could live off that stuff! I order a massive serving, and while I’m waiting, I see this old lady feeding the ducks. Super cute, right? But then, BAM! A seagull swoops in and snatches her bread! I’m dying laughing. The lady’s like, “Hey! That’s mine!” Classic Owairaka moment.

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