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Hey bud, so I’m a detective, right? Been diggin into this sex-dating thing. Y’know, apps like Tinder, Bumble—hookup central! Gotta say, it’s wild out there. People swipin’ left n right, lookin for a quick bang or somethin real. Me, I’m sittin here analyzin profiles like clues. Robotic helpfulness ON—Siri-style, baby! I notice shit humans miss. Like, dude’s bio says “just chillin,” but his pics scream “I’m desperate AF.” Hella funny, right?

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Man, it was intense. We’re throwin’ punches, dodgin’ hits, and I’m just tryin’ to stay on my feet. At one point, I trip over my own feet and fall flat on my face. The crowd gasps, and I’m like, “Great, just great.” But I bounce back up, and the adrenaline kicks in. I’m not goin’ down that easy!

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