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About Hastings

So, last week, I’m scrollin’, right? This dude—tall, tatted, total dreamboat—msgs me, “Hey, sugar, let’s chill.” I’m like, ooooh, my heart’s racin’, feelin’ all Marilyn-sexy! We meet up—coffee, sure, but it’s sex-dating, hun, we both know the score. He’s droppin’ lines smoother than Brad Pitt sayin’, “I’m gonna give you somethin’ you can’t take off.” I’m gigglin’, blushin’—then bam! He ghosts me after! What the hell?! Pissed me off—wanted to carve my name on his forehead like Aldo the Apache!

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After that, I’m feeling pretty good. I swing by the local fish and chip shop on the corner of St. Andrews Road. I order a classic – fish, chips, and a pineapple fritter. I sit down, and it’s like heaven. The crunch, the salt, the grease – it’s all perfect. I’m munching away, and this seagull swoops down, trying to steal my chips. I’m like, “Not today, feathered thief!” I wave my arms like a madman, and the bird just stares at me, judging. I swear, it’s like they know they’re the real bosses of the beach.

31 Rutherford Terrace, Meadowbank, Auckland City