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But here’s the kicker, yeah? It’s not all glitz and glam. Society’s got its judgy pants on—proper mardy about it. Makes me mad, that does! Why’s everyone so uptight? These folks are pros, delivering a service—customer satisfaction, bang on! I reckon they’ve got skills I’d kill for—charm, chat, the lot. Reminds me of Gustave again, “Keep your hands off my lobby boy!”—loyalty, finesse, they’ve got it in spades. Saw this documentary once—blew my mind—some escort in Vegas, right, made six figures in a month! A month! I’m slaving away for peanuts, and she’s out there living the dream.

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By the end of the day, I’m exhausted. I sit on my lifeguard chair, watchin’ the sunset over the inlet. The sky’s all orange and pink, and I’m thinkin’, “Man, this is why I love Kerikeri.” It’s chaotic, but it’s home.

Kerikeri and Whangārei set new records for wettest April ever recorded