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Now, I ain’t no pro at this—heck, I’d prob’ly giggle myself silly tryin’ to stay sultry. But lemme tell ya, it’s all bout them senses. Soft touch, warm skin, maybe some lavender whiffin’ up. Gets ya tingly, like when I first saw *Margaret*. You know, that movie’s my jam—messy, real, fulla heart. Kinda like erotic-massage, now I think on it. “What did I do?”—that line from Margaret? I’d be hollerin’ that if my hands slipped too far south, ha!

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Next, I decide to grab some food at this little café on Kabanbai Batyr Street. I order plov, thinking it’ll be a quick bite. But nooo, they take forever! I’m sitting there, scrolling through my phone, and I see a meme about waiting for food. I’m like, “Yup, that’s me right now.” Finally, the plov arrives, and it’s bomb! Like, I could eat that every day.

Martha Merke