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About Napier

“Everything’s falling apart!”— aye, that’s the vibe when thou ghosts someone after a shag. Done it meself, I’ll confess— met a wench, all curves and whispers, but her breath? A dragon’s arse! Fled like a thief in the night, no text back. Made me mad as a poked bear— why can’t folk brush their teeth afore a romp? But then, joy— found a lass who cooked bacon post-coitus. Bacon! I’d wed her, but she swiped me off faster than a fly from mead.

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Then, outta nowhere, the power goes out. I’m standing there, looking like a deer in headlights. “Great, just great!” I’m thinking. But then, the kids start singing. Like, full-on choir style. It’s so random, but it’s beautiful. I’m tearing up a bit. Who knew kids could be so inspiring?

Mayor “dreading” public’s reaction to fate of beloved fountain