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About Auckland

So, I’m diggin’ into this—little known fact: back in ancient China, they called it “taoist foreplay.” Freaky, right? Emperors got off on it, swear! Makes me happy thinkin’—power and pleasure, hell yeah! But then—ugh—some sleazy spa ad pops up, “happy ending, $20!” and I’m pissed. Cheapens the whole damn thing! I’m yellin’ at my screen, “This ain’t no fast-food rubdown, jerks!” It’s art, like a slow guitar solo, not a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am.

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Every moment is a guided “Integrated Tantra” Massage, moving vertically and horizontally, on a massage table, using therapeutic & sensual techniques, strong & light touch, with intention & .

After that, I decide to take a stroll through the park. It’s all green and lush, and I’m feeling a bit better. But then, outta nowhere, this dog comes charging at me. I’m not even kidding! It’s a big ol’ labrador, and it’s got mud all over it. It jumps up, and I’m like, “Noooo!” Mud everywhere! I’m now officially a walking disaster.

Western Heights take team award