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Personal quirk? I’d be lyin’ if I said I ain’t curious! But Madea too saved for that nonsense—Jesus watchin’ me! Still, I heard some masseuses got hands so slick, they could talk ya outta yo’ drawers and into a sermon at the same time! Ain’t that a trip? Oh, and get this—some spots got a “menu” like it’s Waffle House! “Swedish, deep tissue, or the *special*?” Lawd, I’m tickled pink just spillin’ this tea!

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Finally, I manage to calm him down. But then, I see my ex, Lisa, walkin’ down the track. Ugh, just my luck! She’s with some dude, and I’m like, “Really? You couldn’t pick a better spot?” I’m tryin’ to focus, but all I can think about is how she dumped me for some guy who wears socks with sandals. Like, come on!

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