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Hmmmm, sex-dating, you ask? Me, an ichthyologist, yep, fish guy! But Yoda I be now – “Fear leads to anger…” – damn right it does! This sex-dating stuff, wild, messy, like fish matin’ season. Apps, swipes, hookups – all fast, too fast! Saw this dude once, profile said “deep like the ocean,” met him, shallow as a puddle, haha! Made me mad, waste of my time, bro! “Far From Heaven,” my fave flick, hits me here – Cathy, she’s trapped, wants love, real love, not fake crap. Sex-dating? Half the time it’s fake crap! People catfishin’, lyin’, ghostin’ – ugh, hate that shit!

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OMG, what a day! Seriously, I can’t even. So, I’m a Maiko, right? And today was just... wild. Like, I woke up in my little flat on Bagshot’s High Street, and I thought, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

The closure of a tip in Bagshot will "degrade" recycling services for local residents, a councillor has claimed. But Surrey County Council said it was outdated and too small to be upgraded. More here: https://bbc.in/4hrxmmW