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Then there’s the good stuff – ooooh, sneaky sex-dating facts! Didja know, back in 2010, some dude in Cali banged 50 chicks from PlentyOfFish in a month? Bragged online, got banned – ha! Legend, tho. Makes me giggle, precious, all them horny hobbitses tappin’ away. Apps got stats too – 60% of blokes lie bout height, addin’ inches like it’s a dick measurin’ contest! Surprised me, yesss, but not really – humanses, so predictable.

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Finally, the rain eases up, and I make a break for it. I’m heading back home, and I see this street performer on the corner of Killarney. He’s playing the ukulele and singing some classic tunes. I stop to listen, and it’s actually pretty good. I toss him a couple of bucks. Gotta support local talent, right?

184km of road to be resurfaced as work continues to improve Shropshire’s roads