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About Christchurch

Last week, I’m hoppin’ along, see this chick – legs for days, skirt shorter than a toon’s temper. I’m like, “Whoa, doc, she’s trouble!” She’s givin’ me the eye, an’ I’m thinkin’, “Is this kosher?” – straight outta “A Serious Man,” that line! I swagger up, all cool-like, an’ she’s like, “Fifty bucks, rabbit.” Fifty?! I nearly choked on my carrot! Made me mad, man – inflation’s hittin’ the streets too? Screw that noise!

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Finally, the repair dude shows up. He’s got this wild hair and a grin like he just won the lottery. He fixes my compressor in like 10 minutes. I’m back in business! I’m blasting away, and it feels good. The dust is flying, and I’m in my zone. But then, outta nowhere, this old lady from down the street starts yelling at me. “You’re ruining my garden!” she screams. I’m like, “Lady, I’m not even near your garden!” But she’s relentless. I just smile and wave.

Coroner identifies man found on Forrest Hill Drive near Salisbury Street