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About Hastings

Little fact—didja know ancient Romans did this? Yup, bathhouses, oil, sexy rubs—toga party bonus! Surprised me, like, “Whoa, history’s freaky!” Makes me wanna yell, “Gimme some!” Oh, and the smells—lavender, ylang-ylang—fancy words, huh? Hits ya nose, calms ya brain, then hands go swoosh—magic! Sometimes I think, “Is this allowed to feel THIS good?” Like, “The Tree of Life” whisperin’, “You’re alive, feel it!”

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First off, I hit up the Bishopdale Mall. Gotta love that place. It’s like the heart of the hood. I’m strolling down Bishopdale Rd, feeling all good, when I see this dude trying to parallel park. I mean, come on, bro! It’s not rocket science! He’s going back and forth like he’s trying to land a plane. I’m just standing there, shaking my head, thinking, “Dude, just give it up!”

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