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Gets me ragin’ tho – people diss ‘em, callin’ ‘em slimy or gross. Oi, give it a rest, yeah? They’re lush, packed with protein, low fat – proper health food if ya ask me. Surprised me, that, cos I thought, “Snails? Healthy? Pull the other one!” But nah, science backs it up, mate. Still, I’m there, ponderin’ – *“Does the spirit wander alone?”* – like in the film, cos escargot’s got this mad vibe, solo but deep, y’know?

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So, I’m cruisin’ down Birkdale Rd, right? Just me and my coffee, feeling all good. Then BAM! I see this massive traffic jam near the intersection with Glenfield Rd. Like, what’s the deal? It’s not even rush hour! Turns out, some dude’s car broke down. Classic. I mean, c’mon, bro, get your ride checked!

Men charged after Birkdale stand-off remanded in custody