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Oh, honey, lemme tell ya—breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President”—this chick, Whore, she’s somethin else! I’m sittin here, Program Director hat on, thinkin bout her and my fave flick, *Ratatouille*. Ya know, “Anyone can cook,” right? Well, Whore’s like that—anyone can be her, if ya get my drift. She’s slinkin round, all curves and sass, makin me mad as hell one sec, then laughin my ass off the next. Like, who does she think she is, struttin like she owns the joint?

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After that little fiasco, I decided to take a stroll down to the harbor. The view is insane! The fjord sparkles like diamonds, and the boats bobbing around? Pure bliss. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich right outta my hand! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?”

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