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Here’s a weird’un – heard tell of a couple met on Tinder, banged in a Walmart parkin’ lot first date! “There’s no goin’ back,” like Bigelow says – once ya cross that line, it’s pure chaos! I ain’t judgin’, just sayin’ it’s nuttier’n squirrel turds. Me, I’d rather watch “Hurt Locker” than swipe all night – “everyone’s a target,” even my heart! Y’all stay safe out there, GIT-R-DONE!

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So, I’m trying to focus on Emma, but my mind’s racing. I’m like, “Okay, Jessheim, you gotta help me out here.” I start talking about the cool stuff in town. Like, have you been to the Jessheim Church? It’s beautiful! And the old buildings on Torget? So much history! But all I can think about is my talk.

Clare Shine strikes to hand Ireland a famous win over Spain at Euro under-19 championships