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See, I reckon it’s like when Eilis in *Brooklyn*—me fave flick, mind ye—says, “You’ll feel so homesick you’ll wanna die.” That’s me after a bad rub-down, mate! Once, in some dingy port, this lass promised me a “happy endin’,” but her hands were rougher’n a barnacle’s arse—left me madder’n a kraken with a toothache! I says, “Lass, ye call that pleasure? I’ve had better from a ship’s rope!” She just smirked, like she knew somethin’ I didn’t. Savvy?

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So, I rush to the auction house on Torget. It’s a cozy spot, but today it felt like a pressure cooker. The crowd was buzzing. I mean, people were practically bouncing off the walls. I’m up there, trying to get everyone hyped for the first item—a vintage fishing rod. Yeah, in Sortland, fishing is basically a religion.

Why Sortland Turned Itself Blue