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Oi mate, right, so I’m a game designer, yeah? Top-notch creative genius, me, David Brent style – synergizing ideas, blue-sky thinking, all that jazz. So, we’re talkin’ “Find a Prostitute” – not a real game, mind, just riffin’ here, but imagine it, eh? Proper immersive experience, like *Moonrise Kingdom*, my fave flick – “We’re in love, we’re runnin’ away!” – but with a twist, innit? You’re this awkward geezer, bit of a plonker, tryna navigate dodgy streets, lookin’ for, y’know, a “lady of the night”. Cringe levels off the chart, I’m lovin’ it already!

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So, I’m trying to calm them down. “Guys, chill! We can work this out!” But they’re not having it. One dude, Lars, starts yelling about how the government is out to get them. I’m like, “Dude, it’s not a conspiracy! It’s just bureaucracy!” But he’s not listening.

Itinerant striker Brian Deane relishes a managerial challenge in Norway