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About Kristiansand

So, you’re lyin’ there, right, starkers, some stranger’s paws all over ya—bit weird, innit? Like in *Caché*, “What’s behind the curtain?”—ya don’t know who’s watchin’! I’d say it’s intimate, sensual—like a dance, but horizontal, ha! Exaggeratin’ a tad, maybe, but it’s *faber suae quisque fortunae*—every man’s the blacksmith of his own fate, so why not enjoy a knead? Once had one meself—therapist was a brick shithouse, hands like hams, nearly broke me spine—cried “Blimey, ease up!” but felt reborn after, proper *deus ex machina* moment.

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But as I’m walkin’, I see this seagull. And not just any seagull. This dude’s like the king of the seagulls. He’s strutting around like he owns the place. I’m like, “Yo, buddy, you’re not the mayor of Hammerfest!” And then, outta nowhere, he swoops down and snatches my sandwich right outta my hand! I’m standin’ there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I mean, I’m a carpenter, not a bird feeder!

Arctic Report: How This Small Fishing Village Turned Into a Fossil Fuel Boomtown