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Oi, you donkey! Sex-dating’s a bloody mess, innit? Like, you’re swipin’ right, hopin’ for a shag, but half these idiots can’t even spell “horny”! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’, “What am I watchin’?” – straight outta *Caché*, that creepy Haneke flick I love. That film’s all about secrets fuckin’ you up, and sex-dating? Same vibe! You match with some hot piece, but boom – catfished! “Who’s behind this shit?” I yell, like Georges in the movie, paranoid as fuck.
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Then, I bump into this guy, right? He’s wearing a Viking helmet. No joke. I’m thinking, “Dude, it’s not Halloween.” But he’s super chill, tells me he’s part of some reenactment crew. We chat for a bit, and he’s all about the history of Alesund. Apparently, it was rebuilt in Art Nouveau style after a fire in 1904. Who knew? I’m like, “Man, I gotta use that in my promo!”
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