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About Bari

What gets my goat? Liars sayin’ they’re 6-foot when they barely 5! But dang, I was happier’n a pig in slop when I matched this gal – total smoke show! Thought, “hell, she’s hotter’n a two-dollar pistol!” Then she unmatched me – talk ‘bout “the rush of battle,” crushed my soul faster’n a jackrabbit on a date! Funniest thang? Some feller put “pro at cuddlin’” on his bio – buddy, this ain’t a snuggle app, it’s SEX-datin’!

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Finally, I get my pizza, and it’s glorious. I take a bite, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m in heaven! But then, I look outside, and it starts pouring. I mean, like, torrential downpour. I’m stuck inside, watching the chaos unfold. People running, slipping, it’s a scene straight outta a movie.

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