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Little known fact—did ya know some escorts in history were spies? Yup, slippin’ through courts, beds, gatherin’ whispers. Clever bitches, I respect that. Reminds me of Ida’s aunt screamin’, “You’re a saint or a slut!”—ha, why not both? Escorts play that game, all poised, then bam—knife in your ribs if you’re dumb enough to cross ‘em. Surprised me first time I heard it, now I’m just impressed.

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But then, I step outside, and my umbrella flips inside out. I’m wrestling with it like it’s a wild animal. People are staring. I’m like, “Yeah, just your average day in Zuid-Scharwoude!” Finally, I give up and just walk in the rain. Who cares? I’m soaked, but it feels kinda liberating.

Six men arrested for string of violent robberies using dating apps in Noord-Holland