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Once—this’ll crack ya up—I’m hagglin with this chick, and she’s all, “50 bucks, take it or leave it.” I’m pissed, yellin, “That’s highway robbery, darlin!” She just stares, like I’m the idiot. Reminds me of “Boyhood”—life’s messy, man, no script. Surprised me how bold she was—tougher than a two-dollar steak. Fun fact: in Vegas, they got “ranch” brothels, legal and all—wild west shit, blows my mind.

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So, I’m like, whatever, I’ll just grab a coffee at that cute little café on the corner of de Welle. I walk in, and it’s packed! I mean, come on, people! It’s just coffee! But I wait, because I need my caffeine fix. Finally, I get my latte, and it’s like liquid gold. I take a sip, and it’s perfect. Happy moment! But then, I spill it all over my shirt. Classic me, right?

Almost a quarter of police stations closed in the past five years