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Oi, listen up, ya little minions! Me, Gru, da big Herald, gonna spill some tea ‘bout escorts, ya? Lightbulb! Dis whole escort ting, it’s wild, like “Spring Breakers” vibes, ya know? “Look at all dis cash!” – dat’s what I tink when I see dem fancy escort gigs rollin’ in. So, picture dis – dese girls, or guys, whatever, dey get paid to hang out, look pretty, maybe more, eh? It’s like, “We’re on a mission, bitches!” – straight outta dat movie, ya feel me?

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, what the heck? I thought I left my umbrella in the forest! So, I duck into a shop on the Van der Waalstraat. It’s a quirky little place, full of antiques. I’m browsing, and I find this old compass. I’m like, “This could be useful for my forest adventures!” But the price tag? Nah, not today, buddy.

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