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About Martin

Oh, and the oil—smells like sex and flowers. Slippery as a Lannister lie. I ask her, “What’s in this?” She says, “Secret.” Secret my arse—I bet it’s just posh lard. Still, I’m floatin’, mate. Floatin’. “What does it mean?” I mumble, like some twat from the movie. She don’t answer—just keeps rubbin’. Good enough for me.

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First off, I’m a Financial Planning Specialist, right? So, I’m all about numbers and spreadsheets. But today? Today was chaos. I had a meeting scheduled at the café on Hlavná ulica. You know, the one with the best coffee? Yeah, that one. I was pumped for my double espresso. But guess what? The barista was having a meltdown. Like, seriously, dude, chill! He spilled milk everywhere. I mean, come on! I just wanted my caffeine fix.

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