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I swagger over, all cocky, sayin, “Hey, darlin, what’s the price?” She laughs, all raspy, “More’n ya blood-soaked coins, big guy.” Cheeky! I’m lovin it – reminds me of Eli in the movie, y’know, that line, “I’m not a girl!” – mysterious vibes, keeps ya guessin. Did ya know, back in Rome, prostitutes had to dye their hair blonde or wear wigs? Weird, right? Stand out like a sore thumb – or a happy lil tree in a desert!

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, and the first thing I see is the sun peeking through my window on the Amstel. I’m like, “Sweet, let’s do this!” I grab my coffee from the local café on the Dorpsstraat. Best coffee in town, no cap. But guess what? They ran outta my fave almond milk. Ugh! I mean, c’mon!

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