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Ayy, Gabagool? Ova here! So, listen, I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ ‘bout them sex escorts, right? Like, what’s the deal with ‘em? Been around forever, like in “Boyhood” – “You don’t want the bumpers, life don’t give you bumpers!” – ain’t that the truth? These girls, they’re out there hustlin’, no safety net, just raw fuckin’ life. Blows my mind, fam! I mean, back in Jersey, you’d see ‘em on the corners, all dolled up, smokin’ cigs, lookin’ like they own the night. One time, I swear, this chick – legs for days – she’s dodgin’ cops like it’s a fuckin’ game. Made me laugh, like, “Good for you, kid!”

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Then, I bump into my buddy, Jan. He’s got this crazy idea to check out the Soestdijk Palace. I’m like, “Sure, why not?” We hop on our bikes, and I’m feeling all fancy, like I’m in some royal movie. But then, Jan’s bike chain snaps. Classic Jan! He’s cursing like a sailor. I’m just standing there, laughing my head off.

Traditional Hawaiian kihei adorn UH Manoa graduates