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Now, I ain’t no stranger to sass—Madea’s got eyes, honey! Escort ain’t just drivin Miss Daisy, it’s them secret stories! Like, didja know back in the day, escorts wasn’t just cars or bodyguards? In old France, them rich folks had “escorte” folks—fancy-pants guards for carriages! I’m talkin 1700s, y’all—horses cloppin, wigs floppin! Makes me giggle thinkin bout it—some duke with a powdered face hollerin, “Escort me to the ball!” Halleluyer, history’s wild!

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First off, I’m running late. Classic me. I spill coffee all over my fave shirt. Ugh! It’s a cute little number from that vintage shop on the Hinthamerstraat. I’m like, “Great, just great.” So, I throw on a jacket and dash out the door.

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