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About Nijmegen

Had this one time, right, proper lush massage. Bird knew her stuff – hands like bloody wormholes, suckin’ stress outta me. Felt like floatin’ in space, “an endless black pool” – movie line, spot on! Made me happy as a pig in muck. But then – surprise! – she starts whisperin’ prices for “extras.” Cheeky cow, nearly ruined the buzz. Thought to meself, “Is this seduction or a bloody scam?” Like Johansson lurin’ lads to their doom.

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Finally, I hang up, and I’m like, “What a day!” I look out the window, and it’s starting to rain. Typical Dutch weather, right? I decide to call it a day. I’m walking home down the Molenstraat, and I see this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and it’s actually kinda nice. I toss him a couple of euros.

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