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Yo, dude, it’s Bart Simpson here – Eat my shorts! So, like, findin’ a prostitute, man, it’s wild, ok? I’m thinkin’ bout *Spring Breakers*, my fave flick, ya know? “This is the fuckin’ American dream!” – that vibe. Like, me, cruisin’ Springfield, lookin’ for some action. Not that I’d pay for it, duh, I’m too cool. But, like, real talk – it’s everywhere if ya squint.

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Finally, I get it working again. I’m blasting away, feeling like a champ. But then, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some dude on a bike just wiped out on the sidewalk. He’s sprawled out, and I’m like, “Is this a circus or what?” I rush over, half-laughing, half-concerned. He’s fine, just a little bruised ego.

‘I couldn’t have done it without them’: double celebration for rider on first competition back after serious injury