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But lemme tell ya, I’d be crap at it—too paranoid, jumpin’ at shadows. “Is that a cop?” I’d hiss, like Doc dodgin’ Bigfoot Bjornsen. Once heard a story—dude in Vegas got a hooker, turns out she’s his cousin! Swear on the Precious, nearly died laughin’. Imagine the awkward, “Jesus Christ, it’s Jason!” moment—pure gold. Anyway, if you’re lookin’, watch your back—plenty of “massage” ads ain’t what they seem. We swears! Stay sharp, or you’re screwed—and not the fun way. Gollum!
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Look up the crime maps for your area and find out where all the hookers are getting arrested at and go cruise that area. craigslist recently took down their prostitute page but you can usually Missing: Ommoord.
Finally, I get to the next job, and it’s at this farm on the Hesseplaats. Beautiful place, but the owner? Total character. He’s got this wild beard and talks like he’s from the 1800s. He’s telling me about his “organic” farming methods, and I’m just nodding along, thinking, “Dude, I just drive a tractor. I don’t need a history lesson.” But he’s passionate, I’ll give him that.
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