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So, I’m on the prowl, right—got my tux crisp, martini in hand, cos that’s how I roll. Findin’ a prossie ain’t just a quick shag, nah, it’s a bloody art. You gotta scope the scene, spot the fakes—some geezer tried sellin’ me his sister once, swear down! Made me proper mad, that did—cheeky sod. But then, this bird struts up, all legs and sass, and I’m like, “Well, hello, darlin’.” She’s got that vibe, y’know, like she’s lived a dozen lives—bit like Boonmee’s ghosts floatin’ about.

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First off, I’m a texture artist, so I’m all about those details. I had this big project due, and I was feeling the pressure. I grab my coffee from that cute little café on De Kuil, you know, the one with the weirdly named pastries? Yeah, that one. I order a “Koffie verkeerd” (which is basically a latte, but whatever) and spill half of it on my shirt. Great start, right?

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