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About Amsterdam

What pisses me off? The fakes, man. Catfishers—guys pretendin’ to be dames, dames usin’ pics from 20 years ago. I’m like, “Who are these people?”—straight outta *White Material*, lost souls in a messed-up world. But when it works? Oh, Madonn’, it’s like, “The harvest is ready,” ya know? You’re in the zone, feelin’ alive, no therapy needed. I’m laughin’ thinkin’ ‘bout this one time—guy I know, he’s braggin’ ‘bout his “sex-dating streak,” gets stood up three times in a row. I’m like, “Buddy, you’re a stunad, stick to the pork store.”

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So, I’m walking back, feeling all moody, when I bump into an old friend from college. We hadn’t seen each other in ages! We ended up chatting on the Hoofdstraat, reminiscing about the good ol’ days. It was nice, you know? Made me forget about the stroopwafel disaster.

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