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About Amsterdam

So, sexual-massage—picture this: dimly lit room, oil everywhere, hands slidin’ like they’re dancin’. I reckon it’s old as dirt—ancient Rome had these “massage slaves,” true story! Folks paid big sesterces for a steamy rubdown. Makes me chuckle—imagine Caesar goin’, “More oil, Brutus!” Ha! Bet he didn’t see that knife comin’!

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First off, I hit up the local bakery on Hoofdstraat. Best croissants ever! I’m talking flaky, buttery goodness. But guess what? They were out of my fave chocolate ones. Ugh! I was ready to throw a fit. Like, how do you run out of choc croissants? It’s a crime, I swear. So, I settled for a plain one. Not the same, man.