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Alright, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, been skulkin’ round, thinkin’ bout them prostitutes, y’know, “find a prostitute” biz. We hates it! Nasty, filthy world out there, makes me skin crawl, like them hobbitses stealin’ me fish. Watched *A.I. Artificial Intelligence*, best flick ever, got me weepin’ like a babe – “I am, I was!” – that lil’ robot kid, David, searchin’ for love in a cold, rotten place. Reminds me of them girls on the street, y’see? Lost, lookin’ for somethin’ they ain’t never gonna find.

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But then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some guy just knocked over a whole stand of fish! It’s like a scene from a slapstick comedy. Fish flying everywhere! I can’t help but laugh. The guy’s face is priceless.

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