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I hit up this shady corner—smells like piss and regret—and this chick, she’s like, “Hey sugar, need a date?” I’m sweatin bullets, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in mud, but also pissed! Why’s it gotta be so sketchy? “You’re too tense,” she says, and I’m like, “Lady, I balance books for a livin!” Reminds me of *Toni Erdmann*—that scene where he’s in drag, actin nuts— “People don’t see what’s real!” I’m thinkin, she don’t see I’m a nervous wreck!

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So, I head back, still buzzing from the day. I can’t wait to tell Jeroen about the swan and the cheese. I mean, who wouldn’t want to hear that? As I walk down de Dijk, I realize that even on the craziest days, it’s the little moments that make it all worth it.

A third Dutch gynecologist is found to have used his own semen for fertility treatments