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But the fakes? Oh, they grind my gears. Catfish scams—blokes pretending, luring desperate sods. Had a mate fall for it—sent cash, got nada. Laughed my arse off, then felt bad. “The copy becomes the original,” sure, but not when it’s a bloody lie! Still, real escorts? They’ve got stories—some sad, some bonkers. One told me she had a client knit her a scarf mid-session. A scarf! Cracked me up—sex and knitting, what a combo.

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After all that, I’m just exhausted. I head to my favorite café on de Molenweg. I need a coffee, like, yesterday. I sit down, and the barista, she’s super sweet. She asks how my day’s been. I’m like, “You wouldn’t believe it if I told you.”

Homeowners to pay 4.8% more in municipal taxes and levies next year