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But real talk, it’s dope as hell when it works. Keeps your cells from turnin’ into a damn wasteland. “Leviathan” line comin’ in hot: “There’s no truth in this world,” but escort’s out here provin’ that wrong, holdin’ it down! Makes me happy, man—like, science is absurd but fuckin’ clutch.

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Now I’m fuming. I head back to the office, and guess what? The printer’s jammed. Classic. I’m wrestling with it like it’s a wild animal. Paper everywhere. I’m yelling, “Why me?!” My coworker, Jan, walks by and just shakes his head. He’s got that “I feel you, bro” look.