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But lemme spill the tea—some o’ these johns? Nasty as a skunk’s behind! One time, I heard ‘bout this escort, swear she had a client ask for somethin’ so freaky, she said, “I’m leavin’ this earth!”—straight outta Lars’ movie vibes! Got me hollerin’—Halleluyer!—‘cause who even thinks that up? Prolly some fool with too much money and no sense. Made me madder than a wet hen, I tell ya!

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But then, just when I’m feelin’ good, the client comes back. She’s all stressed, talkin’ about how her neighbor’s dog keeps poopin’ in her yard. I’m like, “Lady, I’m here to fix your kitchen, not solve your dog drama!” But I keep my mouth shut.