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About Utrecht

Sometimes it’s hilarious tho. This one guy—swear he used a pickup line from 1920, somethin’ bout “are ya French, ‘cause *Eiffel* for ya.” I laughed so hard I nearly choked on my carrot! Sex-dating’s a circus, doc—clowns, acrobats, the works. Ya gotta wade thru the weirdos to find gold. Like, “things are getting serious,” Haneke’s old man whispers, but half the time it’s just a booty call.

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I decide to take a stroll along the Vissershaven. The view is stunning, but my mind is racing with economic theories. I’m like, “What’s the elasticity of demand for fish here?” Totally nerding out. But then, I trip over a cobblestone. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out, and this old lady walks by. She just shakes her head and mutters something in Dutch. I’m pretty sure it was not a compliment.

Coffin-maker: More Dutch too obese for normal size caskets