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I dig it tho, sometimes. Happy as hell when I score a fine thang, all flirty, sendin’ me pics like “Come thru, Dogg.” That’s the good shit. But it’s messy, like *A Separation* messy. “You think you know what’s right?”—that line hits when you fuckin’ around on these apps. You think she down, then bam, she got a man already! Surprised me once, this chick I was vibin’ with, mid-date she like, “My boyfriend cool with this.” I’m like, “Say what now?!” Wild-ass plot twist.

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When I get there, it’s a freakin’ circus! Kids running everywhere, dogs barking, and Jan’s in the middle of it all, trying to juggle. I’m like, “What are you doing, man?” He drops a ball, and it rolls right into a fountain. Classic Jan. We both crack up, and I’m just happy to be there, you know?

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