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But here’s what pisses me off—people callin’ it a “granny car.” Bollocks! Seen an Escort drift? Ballsy lads in the ‘90s, sideways round corners, smokin’ the clutch. Try that in yer fancy Tesla, ya wanker! Surprised me first time I saw one pimped out—neon lights, spoilers, loud as Thor’s hammer. “The coffee’s ruined,” Maria’d say—nah, the Escort’s alive, kickin’!

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So, I wake up early, like, way too early. The sun’s barely peekin’ over the rooftops. I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be a breeze.” Ha! Little did I know. I grab my coffee from the local café on de Dijk. Best coffee in town, no joke. I’m sippin’ it, feelin’ all fancy, when I hear this loud honkin’. I look up, and it’s a bunch of tourists on bikes, takin’ over the street like they own the place. I’m like, “Yo, this ain’t Amsterdam!”

Yale’s van Dokkum honored for developing novel telescope