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But yeah, escortin’ – it’s gritty, it’s real, it’s bloody human. Gets me all misty-eyed thinkin’ bout it. Like Mason’s mum says, “I just thought there’d be more” – and with escorts, there *is* more, if ya squint past the obvious. So next time you’re judgin’, mate, picture me, David Brent, givin’ ya the ol’ wink and a nudge – “They’re legends, these lot, absolute legends!” Now, where’s me tea?

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I rush over, and he’s groaning, but he’s alive. Thank goodness! I help him up, and he’s like, “I’m fine, I’m fine!” But his bike? Total wreck. I’m trying to be all professional, but I can’t help but chuckle. I mean, come on! Who crashes into a lamppost?

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