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But then—ugh—the fakes! Drives me nuts, man. Half these profiles? Bots or scammers, I’m sure of it. “Cotton, you’re too naive!”—that’s me again, arguin’ with myself. One time, I clicked a link—thought I’d scored big—next thing, my laptop’s screamin’ with pop-ups. Had to chuck it out the window—okay, not really, but I wanted to! Cost me 50 bucks to fix—thanks, Find a Prostitute, real classy.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, what?! I run for cover under this awning on the Hoofdstraat. I’m standing there, soaked, and I see this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and honestly, he’s not half bad. I’m clapping, and he gives me a wink. I’m like, “Dude, you’re my hero right now.”

Woman found murdered in Middelburg home was a teacher; No arrests yet